Today I celebrate my 8-year anniversary of immigrating to the US.
I have spent hours reflecting and analyzing my experience. I wrote a few essays and a short novel.
I hoped to share some insights with new or seasoned immigrants, but the truth is that everyone’s story is different.
Mine is unique, and yours is too! I can have challenges you won’t even notice, and you can see blessings I overlooked.
So, instead of giving advice to others, I will go back in time and try to land a helping hand for me eight years ago.
Dear Olena of 2015,
Here are 10 things you should know before you come to live in the US:
1. Cultural shock will be overwhelming, but it will get better the more you get to know locals and their ways.
2. Meet new people and make new friends. You will need a reliable support system to live far away from Ukraine and your family.
3. It will take time to learn “unwritten social rules,” for example, starting small talk or getting in line at the grocery store (spoiler alert: your friend can’t hold a place for you in front of the others).
4. You might never learn football or baseball rules. You are not stupid. It’s just not in your genes. Your ancestors didn’t play these games.
5. Indulge in meeting people of various backgrounds and cultures, speaking languages you have never heard of, and following traditions you have never experienced. Living in a “melting pot” is the greatest gift the US gives you for free!
6. Don’t be shy about your accent. Some will find it cute; others will call it heavy. Be proud of your ethnic origin and your heritage. And yes, don’t change “Olena” for “Helen” or “Ellen” on your citizenship certificate trying to fit in. It would have been a mistake.
7. Feeling homesick is okay; don’t beat yourself up about it. Immigration is not a vacation. After the honeymoon phase is over, reality kicks in, and you want to go home “where everybody knows your name”. It doesn’t mean you failed. It means you have a heart and a soul.
8. You are the first immigrant in your extended family. You are their Marco Polo discovering Asia, a pioneer, a daredevil. They will always see you that way because you took a risk and have no regrets after all.
9. The US will provide life opportunities you couldn’t have found elsewhere. Accept your new home, relax, and call yourself an American citizen. You worked hard for your passport. Don’t feel inferior to “seasoned” Americans. We are all immigrants. Only our immigration timeframes differ.
10. You were given an immigrant experience for a reason. Go with the flow; enjoy life even in the hardest times, but always remind your daughters of their 50% Ukrainian origin. Teach them Ukrainian traditions and preserve their Ukrainian language as much as possible. They must know their roots.
Best wishes,
Olena of 2023
Ukrainian in Philly 