I haven’t watched the series Six Feet Under until this summer. Ukrainian television didn’t show it until 2001. But I really got into following the plot lines and exploring the characters in 2019.
What I loved most about the script writer’s job is the willingness to show an average American family as it is without sugar-coating “commercial like” images of happy people radiating fake hypocritical smiles.
The thing I am having the most trouble when analyzing my immigrant experience is a huge cultural gap between an average American and me, an average Ukrainian. I can’t stop but notice that Americans MUST look nice in the eyes of other people so badly, they don’t really know who they are and why they have a profound need in satisfying someone else’s expectations of their behavior. It’s sad. It frightens me.
At times, thinking about the people I met so far, living here, I wonder why they always say “let’s keep in touch” and, as soon as you stop seeing them on a regular basis ( whether your relationship is through work or private life), you are no longer in their heads. Out of sight, out of mind. It’s so pathetic. The most frustrating thing about all this “make-pretend” friendship is that every time I believe they MEANT what they said. And I am wrong, almost always wrong. Too bad for me. I am a 33-year old and should know better…
Another matter that has been on my mind for a while is the American educational system. I don’t mean grades and subjects at school, I mean the values being embedded in the heads of young minds. Every school year starts with a new teacher and new classmates for my elder daughter. How on earth is she supposed to make a deep connection with someone she could call “a friend “ if they toss kids around from one class to another? It’s sad, but it explains a lot…
I am so upset when people make arrangements and don’t bother telling you they can’t make it. Or worse: they PROMISE you something and never go through with it, not always bothering to come up with an excuse for their lame behavior.
America is surely shaping up each one of us. I have always taken certain people’s behavioral patterns for granted. I was raised with deep rooted principles that, frankly speaking, make it hard to adjust in my new home. I feel that people here are much more cynical and down to earth than the ones I knew in Kyiv.
Everything is about profit or taking advantage of another person. Let’s take doctors ( my everlasting frustration), even the best ones seem like salesmen who would dwell for hours on how badly one needs this bunch of prescriptions or “a surgery that will change your life for the better”. Oh c’mon, I am able to make my own decisions!
I like American standup comedian George Carlin. To me, he was more of a philosopher than a comedian. He had an insight on American life like no other of his compatriots. According to him, two main passions of an average American are shopping and food. Well, it seems about right. The TV commercials totally prove he had a point. 80% of them are advertising “a breakthrough pill” for every single condition in the medical dictionary which, unfortunately, has, like, a dozen side effects, but “please, talk to your doctor about the drug X”. Money really doesn’t stink, does it? Another 20% will be offering you to buy a brand new car, to try a miracle way to lose weight and then inviting you to a restaurant where you can gorge yourself just for $4.99 at breakfast time.
Is it just me or there are people somewhere who think about all the bigotry too? I hope I am not alone…or my world seriously needs a restart button.
Ukrainian in Philly 